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Interview with Lulu Delacre

Author of Alicia Afterimage

Lulu Delacre

I was standing in the funeral mass of my daughter Alicia when the people were streaming by to give condolences, and there were hundreds that attended that mass. Many of the people that attended were friends of Alicia, and seeing the gamut of her friends and all the ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds they represented, I was puzzled. I just couldn’t believe that she had that many friends and I was puzzled at the fact that they were so touched by her passing. So that sparked in me the need to find out why were they so touched. I wanted to know: How had she touched their lives? Who was Alicia to these many friends?

When I started writing this book, I started writing not knowing that I would publish it. I just needed to write it. And I remember clearly each time that I sat at the computer just asking for help. Actually I would ask Alicia, “Alicia, guide me, what do you want me to write?” And then I would start writing. Eventually I knew that this book needed to get published because I realized that it was not only a little bit of a memoir of Alicia seen through her friends’ eyes, at least of her teen years, but it was much more than that, it was really an exploration of teen grief. And I realized that this book could help other teens that go through the loss of someone they really love.

I found when I was talking to Alicia’s friends that they felt that nobody could understand them—not their parents, not their own friends, to whom they wouldn’t talk about their loss, not the counselor at school. They openly spoke to me because I was the mother of their friend.

One thing I discovered in talking with Alicia’s friends was that it was very healing to talk about who she was for them, what she did with them, how she behaved with them, how she behaved with me, and to compare notes. Because when a person passes, you no longer have that physical presence, so what you’re left with is all those memories. And in rejoicing in those memories, we could make our own individual memories richer.

When Alicia died, one of the things I said to myself was, “I can’t believe she died without having a real kiss.” So I’m here talking with one of her friends and I ask her, point-blank, “Vicky, tell me, did she ever kiss a boy?” And Vicky goes, “Of course she did!” and she rolled her eyes like she knew all the details about it. And we were laughing so hard because we were sharing who she was and it was so good to know about all these details.

Even though I wept with them, we laughed, and we had wonderful times just reminiscing. And I’m so happy to have done it. I actually would say to any parent that loses his or her child to do this: to talk to her friends, because it’s just the recovery of all these precious moments brings you such joy.

Trascript of an interview conducted June 2008 by Jason Low, Publisher. Posted August 2008.

Watch the Interview

Learn more about Alicia Afterimage

Also by Lulu Delacre Arrorró, mi niño: Latino Lullabies and Gentle Games

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